Networking. Whenever I bring up this concept in student appointments, I instantly can feel the tension rise in the room. Perfectly confident students suddenly look on edge, or at least a bit skeptical.
Have you ever thought… “I’m not the type to just reach out to strangers” or “Networking feels fake or transactional” or “People from my background don’t really ‘network’ — we work hard and hope we get noticed.”
Yes? You’re not alone. For many students, especially those who are more reserved, skeptical, or come from cultures where self-promotion is discouraged, the traditional idea of networking can feel uncomfortable and intimidating—or even inauthentic. But if you look at it through a different lens, networking actually can be a great experience. Here are a few tips for the ‘unenthused networker’.
Reframe Your Approach: Networking = Conversations
Think of networking not as “selling yourself” but instead as getting curious about someone else’s journey. You’re not asking for a job—you’re asking how someone arrived to where they are. Most Penn alumni are willing and even excited to talk about their career path, and they’ll often also remember how they felt as a college student figuring everything out and want to help ease your stress.
We have very practical resources on the Penn Career Services website that help guide you in getting started, finding alumni to talk to, preparing for the conversations, and so much more. Check out our networking page here for more in depth guidance.
Embrace Your Style (and Culture)
Not everyone can thrive at a large networking event like a professional conference, a crowded info session or a large, bustling career fair. If you prefer thoughtful conversations over small talk, lean into that. Maybe you set your networking goals around connecting with people through more one-on-one engagements, like coffee chats or reaching out via email or LinkedIn to set up informational interviews. Regardless of the setting, ask questions that feel meaningful to you when you are connecting with alumni. By being your authentic self, you may form a strong connection with the alum/person you are speaking with, and they may end up becoming an important contact in your career.
If your family/personal culture values humility, you don’t have to change who you are—you can still network with sincerity, kindness, and quiet confidence. Truly successful networking is less about selling yourself and your skills, and more about showcasing your eagerness to learn and grow professionally and personally. That eagerness to learn and grow is a trait that makes you a great future hire.
Keep It Low-Pressure
Don’t set yourself up for failure by starting out with a company’s CEO or someone who may be equally intimidating. Start with someone familiar: a professor, a Penn alum (whose contact info you can find through MyPenn, LinkedIn or CareerShift) or even a classmate who interned last summer in a field that strikes your curiosity. Send a short message. Ask one or two questions (examples of good questions can be found in our informational interviewing guide). You don’t need a polished pitch—just a genuine desire to learn. As you become seasoned in networking, shoot higher. We have Penn alums in every industry and almost every country doing amazing things – connect!
The Magic is in the Follow-Up
A thank-you message after a conversation goes a long way – more than you would expect! Send it within 24 hours and make sure you let the alum know they’ve made a significant impression on your journey by sharing their experience. Over time, these small moments add up and open unexpected doors. Want to hear more about the power of a thank you? Check out this episode of CS Radio on Thank You Notes.
You don’t have to become someone else to build your network. Just be you. Do the work, engage in conversation and be curious, thoughtful, and open to learning. Penn Career Services is here to help you navigate it all, one conversation at a time. Everyone’s journey is different, so make an appointment with a career advisor from your school for more nuanced guidance!
